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Friday, December 30, 2005

juz now i went down the memory lane with mama.. realised tat i had been keeping all those things inside me for so long... i feel better telling someone my feelings.. and how stupidly i had behaved last time with him.. and its a little funny.. i told mama wats on my mind for days le.. tat is hoping tat he will msg me or anything on my bdae.. n its oni a few daes away... i rmb exactly last yr tiz dae i spent my time with an ass who broke my heart aft my bdae.. bt we r frens now cuz he had the initiative to look for me cuz it was him who ignored me!! again!! why do i owaz get ignored aft some stupid thing happened?? sickening.. like mama said it was cuz of the expectations we had on each other.. mayb.. haiss..

anyway bac to main topic, if he did smth on new yr den there will be hope tat we can be frenz again.. mayb nt like b4.. bt if he doesn't i oso wun blame him.. its juz wat im hoping.. thou i noe i wil get a bigger disappointment on tat dae.. haiss.. like wat mama said, all i can do is wait bt waiting is nt a solution.. why did he ignore me in the first place?? tats all i wan to noe.. mayb.. mayb i wan more bt tat can wait.. there's actually alot of things in my mind now.. bt i juz duno how to type it down.. i juz cant describe how i felt when i was with him.. like nth can pull is down.. no worries at all.. and i felt like i was someone diff.. someone special.. hais.. bt tat feelings are now gone.. to be replaced by something bad.. depression mayb? i owaz forget some things n sometimes impt things.. bt he juz cant seem to get out of it.. funny..

and i rmb how he wld sing all those stupid lullubys n songs to make me slp.. smtimes even read me bks.. haha.. n miraclously i felt so tired thou i was so hyper minutes ago.. haha.. n he confessed his love for me when i was abt to slp.. i still rmb tat dae thou.. 5th oct.. and he told me 2 daes later while i was crying.. funny.. bt tat shut me up thou.. haha.. i owaz rmb all the stupid phrases he used to tell me which made me crack up.. he promised to be my guardian angel as long as he live.. how true izzit now tat he's ignoring me?? and we had a stupid promise made to each other 10 yrs down which i haven tell anybody yet.. cuz mayb its stupid ba.. haha.. bt i dun think the promise will be fulfiled aft 10 yrs.. or 9 yrs 6 mths.. which he discounted it himself.. haiss.. stop tammy stop!!!

anyway tiz is the longest i had wrote so far.. juz to let ur noe..

Y ``tAmmY Y 1:47 am